1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:14,320 This is Hacker Public Radio episode 3,942 for Tuesday the 12th of September 2023. 2 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:19,120 Today's show is entitled, ReHow to Make Friends. 3 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:24,800 It is hosted by some guy on the internet and is about 13 minutes long. 4 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,440 It carries a clean flag. 5 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:40,960 This summary is, scoty replies to plot his show how to make friends. 6 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,760 Hello and welcome to another episode of Hacker Public Radio. 7 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,480 I'm your host, some guy on the internet. 8 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,960 And right now the landscapers are outside, so I don't know if I'll be of it even keep this 9 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:57,200 episode or not, because I don't know how much of the machinery you'll be of it here, but 10 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,720 I'm going to be responding to glad to show how to make friends. 11 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:06,080 It is an excellent show, I enjoy it very much, and I'm going to link to it in the description 12 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,320 or the show notes. 13 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:12,080 I think that the word friend, it holds a lot of meaning, right? 14 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:18,560 It's like a variable that can hold different meaning based on who is applying. 15 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:24,560 And to easily discuss this, I think that we need to shave off a few of the different values that 16 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,400 can be stored in the variable. 17 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:31,280 We can keep the response here, somewhat limited, because I don't want this to turn into a 18 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,080 two-hour show of me just rambling all over the place. 19 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:39,120 But first thing first, I'd like to limit the conversation to just online friends, right? 20 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:43,440 Because real-world friends, they're just way too many variables there. 21 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:48,400 Too many things to consider, so online will be a lot easier to limit it. 22 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:56,960 And then I'd say online without webcams, so you can be using a voice-over IP situation 23 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:02,000 where you're chatting in the chat room like a mumble, or you just be typing, you know, text. 24 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:08,000 So when you want to make friends, but all you've got at your disposal is the black and white 25 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,720 text and the ability to chat. 26 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,400 How do you make friends then? 27 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:18,320 And do you also consider the idea that the person you would like to be 28 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:19,360 your friend? 29 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:23,600 Do you consider the fact that they do have the option to reject? 30 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:29,440 Right, you may want to be friends with them, but as it was mentioned, they may only wish to 31 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,040 consider you a colleague in this project. 32 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:39,040 Maybe they've been burned before, had bad experiences with making friends online, 33 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:44,240 and they're currently in a cool-down period where they're just not interested in making friends 34 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:45,120 at this time. 35 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,920 You see, lots of outside variables. 36 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:54,400 One of the things we have to factor in is no one can really tell us who we consider to be a friend, 37 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:54,880 right? 38 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,920 So I can consider a lot to the be a friend. 39 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:01,360 I can consider canfall and to be a friend, Dave Morris. 40 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:06,720 Argers have need to, D&T, you know, I just consider everyone to be a friend. 41 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,800 We've all collaborated in some form or fashion, you know? 42 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:16,000 Neither of us has done anything to sort of warrant suspicion, 43 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:21,040 and there's been plenty of time to allow this interaction to cure, 44 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:25,920 so we'll be safe to say that if they, if they haven't exposed themselves to be 45 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:32,640 the dark phantom waiting to, I don't know, he crush our dreams of friendship. 46 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:35,920 If they haven't done it by now, they're maybe they're not going to do it. 47 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:42,000 So we hang the title of friend around their next, and then we all collaborate 48 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,400 merely from this point forward. 49 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:50,960 Now that is from one perspective, I have not considered rather not a fieldy exact, 50 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,800 say a way which is kind of funny. 51 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:58,560 And possibly because it doesn't really require me to consider it, right? 52 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:03,040 I'm very much happy with my vision of it, right? 53 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,440 It's kind of like when you're playing a video game, 54 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:10,000 and one of the characters in the world of the video game 55 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,360 is kind in polite and offers you things. 56 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:17,600 Well, you don't really consider that that's just the way the developer created the character, 57 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,960 right? Like you don't, you don't consider all of that. No, no, you just consider the nice 58 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:26,640 gestures. And you kind of, if an enemy were to attack that guy, you would protect him. 59 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:32,000 You would draw your sword or whatever you have, and do it you must to ensure they're 60 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:36,480 safety because they were kind to you. But because we're human beings, 61 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:42,800 it is nice to know, isn't it? It's really nice to be able to think that the person you 62 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:48,080 consider a friend is the same about you, right? Like that the feeling is mutual. 63 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:55,920 But that also comes with the deep burn, you know, the stinging agony of them saying, 64 00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:05,600 no, I don't think so. So you'd have to either live in this land of unknowing 65 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:12,720 where you're happy with considering them friends, or you can go out on a limb. You could risk it all. 66 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:18,000 Actually, there's no real risk in it at all. If they say no, you can still continue living 67 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:22,560 with the idea that there's still friends. But having known the answer, right? 68 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:28,880 I once heard a saying that there are many things a wise man would wish to be ignorant of. 69 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,880 Or something like that, I'm sure I'm but drink it, but this will be one of them if it turns out 70 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:40,000 to be no, right? Because now, it'd be more difficult to return to that belief that we're all friends 71 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:46,560 after you've heard the words or read the text, no. And then what do you do when you see no, right? 72 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:55,040 When when you're being crushed to a singularity by an old, what do you do then? Do you query 73 00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:03,760 further? Do you de-request elaboration? But why not? We've been so close all this time. 74 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:12,640 Or do you remain silent, allowing the awkward silence to further compress you into nothingness? 75 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:19,680 Well, these are all good questions. I suppose we're going to have to figure it out one of these days, 76 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:24,640 right? Because we have a real debacle in our hands. And I would approach this a lot like 77 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:32,640 men's health. We currently do not discuss it enough. You understand? There are many things we live with, 78 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:41,120 but we do so silently. And for men, especially, you know, I would include women into this, but I 79 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:48,800 have lived most of my life as a man. So I feel comfortable speaking for men, even though you'd 80 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:56,560 have to subscribe willingly to the rest of this statement. I cannot opt you into it, but I feel 81 00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:00,800 like men are a little bit easier going when it comes to friendship, right? Like, we're not really 82 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:05,920 considering too much. If there's work to be done in someone's willing to join you, I mean, that's 83 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:11,280 a very good path to friendship right there. Men can even become friends even after fighting. 84 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:17,760 They're men, I've thrown fists at and we've become friends afterward. We may not talk on a phone 85 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:24,960 every single day, but when we do, it's always a grand time. Truth be told, I think we should consider 86 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:31,520 less of feelings and things whenever, considering friendship, simply because friendship is 87 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:37,120 companionship and it makes everything better, doesn't it? When you're lifting a heavy weight 88 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:45,360 and someone joins you, that is now a better experience. Why be nervous about making things better? 89 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:51,440 I think that it is foolish. I think that you should just be eager to ask someone to help you, 90 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:56,240 right? This is heavy and you look like you're willing to help. Please join me. 91 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:03,680 This will be much better for the both of us. There's a good chance you need it out of the way, 92 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:09,680 just as badly as I do. So if we both get it out of the way, we're both be the better because of it. 93 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:15,040 So I think we're considering friendship online at least. I think that it should be easy. 94 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:21,120 Simple. I think you should be very upfront, forthcoming. Just, I mean, right out there on the table, 95 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:27,440 just like you were like five years old, Ken mentioned it in the community show, right? I 96 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:32,160 think, well, was it Ken mentioned it? Maybe it was one of the mentioned, like when you were kids, 97 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:37,600 it was simple. You just ask, would you like to be my friend, right? Like it was just simple. 98 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:45,600 Very, very, I was about to say stupid example, but that may have came all wrong. So it's very simple. 99 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:50,960 And what if the person says, no, we'll think about it today, just like everything else we're doing. 100 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:56,960 When you're creating an open-source project, and you put the word out there that you're looking 101 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:02,720 for contributors, people to join in and help with carrying this project to completion. 102 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,840 Well, when people say, no, you don't just give up on your own project, do you? 103 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:10,800 No, you're still happy for the others that say, yes, and you still converse with them. 104 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:16,640 And you still keep that open invitation out there for everyone else that will say, yes, 105 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:21,840 you ignore the ones that say, no, because there's a good chance. They may be nervous. 106 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:28,880 They may not accept this lifestyle as openly as the rest of us. They may need a little time, 107 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:34,640 right? Maybe they're new to online. Again, when all you have is text a lot of the time, 108 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,880 you don't even know who you're dealing with. This could be like a five-year-old 109 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:44,320 on the other end, right? You know, we really don't know who we're dealing with on the other end. 110 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:50,560 Well, maybe not five, but you get the point. So I say consider less, do more. 111 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:55,520 After all, what's the worst that can happen? They say no. Now, that just about wraps up the show. 112 00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:01,840 I am going to do some more on the topic. I just wanted to give a response to it right now, 113 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:07,360 and I'm planning on creating a friendship application. That's right. 114 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:11,920 I'm going to create a, first of all, I'm going to look for one online to see if there's already 115 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:16,800 a template or something of one that's currently out there. Then I'm going to overthink this to the 116 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:21,120 maximum. And then I want to make a show on it, right? So that it can be something fun and 117 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:26,560 interesting that we can play around within the future. But it is going to be like the legit 118 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:33,040 friendship application. You're hanging that out there with a, I don't know, 119 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:40,960 on your next cloud instance or something like that. When, when you meet somebody new, you go, 120 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,720 oh, you sound like an interesting fellow. Here, let me send you something right. You shoot 121 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:52,800 them a link. They open it up and it's the friendship application. We're back to being children again. 122 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:58,640 Would you like to be my friend? They check a few boxes. Maybe even put in a name in there. 123 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:03,760 You know, you can add in what are the things that we all discussed today out there like pronouns 124 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:09,520 and other things that you probably want to include in there all of that jazz. It just put it in there. 125 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:14,160 They only want to matters as yes and no. But the rest is important, right? Like if it's yes, 126 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:18,160 then yeah, you'd want to consider somebody other stuff. But if it's no, I know biggie. 127 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:22,960 I'll send it to him again and then about another week. But I'm not done with this topic. I 128 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:28,480 am going to give more on it. First thing first, I'm going to go talk with a few of my friends 129 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:33,680 and bring them in on it. So I'm going to go, well, I actually want to hear more from women on it. 130 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:38,240 Because I got, I kind of feel like men feel the same way, right? This thing's heavy. 131 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:42,480 I need to get it out of the way so I can get by. Oh, look, this guy's coming to help me. He's 132 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:48,960 giving me a hand and he's helping just for no reason or maybe there's a reason. Maybe he too needs it 133 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:54,640 out of the way. When we had another, he's getting his hands dirty, helping me. Friend. Remember 134 00:11:54,640 --> 00:12:02,160 now was that show or not a show. It was a movie where they did the thing, the claw. I think that was 135 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:09,520 toy story from not mistaken. The little aliens, they did that. They did the claw. That's what 136 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:13,920 that's what we do whenever we meet someone that's trained down. We do we look at them on 137 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:22,080 wallide. Friend. Super weird. But that's what makes it great. When you expose some of your, 138 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:29,600 some of your awkwardness to someone else, they should feel more comfortable about their own 139 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:34,640 sort of flaws. You know what I mean? No one's perfect around here. We're all just, well, 140 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,960 Lisa on hacker public radio, we're all just weirdos around here to be honest with you. But it's 141 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:43,600 where it's fun being weirdos. Though with that said, I'm going to go, uh, 142 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:49,520 tester a bunch of my other friends and try to get some responses. I know we have some women here in 143 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:56,960 HPR community. So, speak up. Tell us how women approach this thing. You know, I've given my 144 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:04,480 explanation about what I believe men be all about this subject. Again, they would have to subscribe 145 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:10,720 on their own to this. I cannot voluntarily involve them. But it's just my thoughts on it. Maybe 146 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:16,080 I'll grab Bumblebee and a few others that I know I'm going to run over there now and try to 147 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:21,840 drag them in on the subject. All right, be catching you guys in the next episode. Take it easy. 148 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,840 RAND 149 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:32,560 You have been listening to hacker public radio at hacker public radio.org. Today's show was 150 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:38,560 contributed by a HPR listening like yourself. If you ever thought of recording podcast, 151 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:46,240 click on our contributally to find out how easy it means. Posting for HPR has been kindly provided 152 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:53,440 by an onsthost.com, the internet archive and our synced.net. 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